Bitternstar

Physical Description
Bitternstar is a rather small, thin cat, and he generally walks with his head and tail low, certainly not leaderlike. His fur is a light white-cream color, and he has patches in different shades of brown and orange, most notably on his haunches and tail. He has dark brown stripes. He looks like a wacky jumble of colors and patterns - similar to his mind, which is a wacky jumble of fear and anxiety.

Bitternstar has two different colored eyes - one lemon-yellow and one sky-blue. While quite striking, these eyes can often be seen gazing nervously at his pale-furred paws.

Personality
Bitternstar's personality is not exactly one that is usually attributed to a leader. He is incredibly nervous around most cats. He's also super easily startled and jumpy. When he's nervous - which is about ninety-nine percent of his life - he talks a lot, sometimes breaking into weird rambles of what sound like gibberish, as if he's puking out the contents of his stressed-out brain.

If you were to ask Bitternstar why he was made leader, he'd have no answer for you. He has no idea what the last leader saw in him; his lack of self-esteem seems to render him unable to even try to think up any positive traits for himself. He really dislikes making decisions, for fear that he'll make the wrong one. However, when tasked with making a choice, he is actually very quick-thinking, and will always make the choice that he thinks is best for the whole Clan. One undeniable trait of Bitternstar's, though, is his selflessness, which may even stem from his low sense of self-worth. He will not hesitate to make choices that make things worse for him, or even put him in danger - at least, not when the public good of his Clan is the other choice.

Over all, it seems that while he's kind of a mess, Bitternstar is a cat you can count on to make a good decision for his Clan. He may get overwhelmed sometimes - okay, all the time - but he does have redeeming qualities. If only he himself were able to recognize them.

Kithood
Bitternkit was born alongside his sisters Antkit and Chickenkit to Rainbowblaze and Bogfrost, two TorrentClan warriors with a passion for battle. They wanted their kits to be the same. For most of his kithood, Bitternkit was forced to participate in mock battles with his siblings, and sometimes the other kits in the nursery. He never liked fighting, and began to dread his father's visits to the nursery. He would often run and hide when this happened. The first few times, he was caught and punished. But that made him even more determined, and he eventually found a few hiding places where his parents couldn't find him, forcing them to continue without him.

If Rainbowblaze and Bogfrost were trying to make their kits battle-hungry by making them play-fight all the time, they failed miserably. Bitternkit and Antkit became scared of battle, and Chickenkit was suddenly strongly opposed to all violence. So their parents promptly began ignoring them.

At this time, Bitternkit began hanging around the kits of another queen, Fulmarcreek. Her kits were Marblekit and Zapkit, and Bitternkit got along great with them. Chickenkit also played with them, but Antkit was kind of terrified of everyone else at this point. That made Chickenkit sad, and she spent a lot of time comforting Antkit.

Another thing about Chickenkit was that she wanted to be a medicine cat. But she made the mistake of telling that to Rainbowblaze, who quickly saw to it that that never happened. Chickenkit was absolutely crushed, and started spending less time with Bitternkit and his new friends. This made Bitternkit extremely sad and self-conscious, feeling like nobody in his family liked him. Marblekit and Zapkit did their best to cheer him up, but he wasn't really responsive to their comforting.

Apprenticeship
At six moons old, Bitternpaw was apprenticed to Boltshine, Rainbowblaze's best friend. Boltshine was a great hunter and fighter and had a good sense of humor, but unfortunately she seemed entirely oblivious to Bitternpaw's emotions, and often pushed him too hard. This led to him doing bad at training, and the Clan seeing him as being terrible at everything. This did a huge number on his self-esteem, and he kind of just retreated into a tiny corner of existence and refuse to interact with everyone for almost a moon.

The newly named Marblepaw and Zappaw - and, of course, Chickenpaw - were having none of that, though, and they worked together to bring him out of his shell. They also introduced him to an older apprentice, Larkpaw, whom they had befriended. So she became Bitternpaw's friend too. Now all of his friends were she-cats, though, and he did his best not to be bored out of his mind when they gossiped about toms they liked and that kind of stuff. Funny thing is that though it was never brought up in conversation, Marblepaw and Zappaw both liked Bitternpaw. And it caused a noticeable rivalry between them. Bitternpaw and Chickenpaw spent a lot of time trying in vain to figure out what was going on between them. Gradually, Zappaw started to become more distant from the friend group - though she often came by when Bitternpaw was alone to flirt with him. He was completely oblivious to her and her sister's crushes on him. He didn't really ever imagine anyone could like him.

But he could certainly like someone. He liked Larkpaw. A lot. And so he spent most of his apprenticeship trailing after her almost wherever she went. Much to her annoyance.

During this time, Bitternpaw also became closer with Antpaw, who was kind of terrified of everything - even worse than Bitternpaw was. Because he sort of knew how she felt, he actually did a better job of comforting her than Chickenpaw.

Also, Larkflower eventually became a warrior and moved out of the apprentices' den. He noticed Marblepaw hanging a lot closer to him all the time now, but he couldn't make any sense of it.

He failed his first warrior assessment, so he was back in the apprentice den with Marblepaw and Zappaw while Chickenspring and Antspeck became warriors. But he succeeded in his second one, at the same time as Marblepaw and Zappaw did.

Warrior Life
Finally, Bitternberry became a warrior, right alongside Marblemoon and Zapmask. Zapmask had gotten over her crush on him at this point, because she had a crush on another warrior. But Marblemoon still liked him. A lot. Even Chickenspring knew it at this point. Bitternberry continued flirting with Larkflower and hanging out with her and Marblemoon and sometimes his sisters.

Then suddenly, Rainbowblaze and Bogfrost had another litter of kits - Hillkit and Shatterkit. Bitternberry and his sisters were technically allowed to visit them, but got dirty looks from their parents every time they did. So only Chickenspring ever actually tried. From what he could see, though, Bitternberry could tell that the kits were already shaping up to be perfect in his parents' eyes - Hillkit was a strong young tom who followed orders, and Shatterkit was a little whirlwind of fury.

Eventually, the two became apprentices. Hillpaw was apprenticed to Larkflower, which gave Bitternberry an excellent excuse to hang out with her all the time. He noticed Marblemoon being somewhat passive aggressive toward him, and openly aggressive to Larkflower. She became distant, and their little friend group kind of disintegrated, reforming with Bitternberry and Larkflower in one group and Chickenspring, Antspeck, Marblemoon and Zapmask in another. Bitternberry was extremely confused by this sudden shift.

And then tragedy struck. While out hinting, Bogfrost got caught in a weird current during a windy day and was dragged out into the ocean. Because he was so far out, and the waves were so rough that day, nobody was sent out to help him. He tried to swim back, but disappeared under the waves and didn't resurface. While he had never had a good relationship with his father, Bitternberry was still utterly traumatized by the fact that no one had tried to save his father, and that the ocean could do that. Of course he's been taught that the ocean was dangerous and unpredictable, but he hadn't expected it to be so - well, so darn unpredictable.

Rainbowblaze was angry at that, and she somehow found a way to blame Marblemoon, who had been on the patrol with Bogfrost. Bitternberry defended her, and eventually Rainbowblaze gave up. The two friend groups sort of begrudgingly merged after that, with obvious tension between Marblemoon, Bitternberry and Larkflower. And Zapmask was completely uninterested in everything except her new mate. Because she had one of those now. Which seemed to make Marblemoon even madder for some unfathomable reason.

One day, soon after Zapmask found out she was expecting kits - because that happened - Bitternberry got an apprentice. Lemmingpaw. And Marblemoon and Rainbowblaze got Lemmingpaw's brothers, Kiwipaw and Cocoonpaw respectively. Bitternberry used this as an excuse to hold duo training sessions with Larkflower and Hillpaw, much to Marblemoon's disbelief and fury.

Eventually, though, Hillwatcher and Shatterbrook became warriors. Marblemoon and Bitternberry started holding their training sessions together (and feeling bad for Cocoonpaw, whom Rainbowblaze insisted on training alone), and it was actually quite enjoyable for both of them. They became closer, and Bitternberry got a lot of very obnoxious looks from Chickenspring when they were together. He still had no idea why. Poor cat had zero clue what was going on.

Then suddenly, Zapmask fell extremely ill with some sickness the medicine cats couldn't recognize. Her health declined rapidly and she died a few days later, taking her unborn kits with her. It was sudden and shocking, and everybody was thrown into a state of grief and confusion. Bitternberry had never really thought about the fact that any of his friends would die - especially not Zapmask, who had always seemed invincible. He and his sisters and friends became very close in this time, united in their tumultuous emotions over Zapmask's death. Her mate, Cornfoot, was killed in a border skirmish a quarter moon later. The thing about Cornfoot, though, was that he was the deputy - and then suddenly Rainbowblaze was the new deputy.

On the day before their warrior ceremonies, Lemmingpaw, Kiwipaw and Cocoonpaw all decided to celebrate their last day as apprentices by climbing the lagoon cliffs. But one of the boulders broke loose with Kiwipaw and Lemmingpaw on it, sending them plummeting to the camp below. Lemmingpaw died upon impact, and Kiwipaw only lasted a few minutes afterward. Cocoonpaw was afraid to climb down, so Rainbowblaze had to be sent up there to rescue him. Bitternstar didn't find out how Rainbowblaze punished her apprentice for doing something so reckless - maybe she didn't, seeing as he had lost his siblings in the process - but afterward, Cocoonpaw seemed to lose all of his motivation to do anything, becoming an obedient shell of a cat. He was scooped up by a hawk a few days later - he didn't even try to fight back.

Hilwatcher, who was best friends with the apprentices and had shared a mutual crush with Lemmingpaw, was crushed by these deaths, and he sort of drifted into Bitternberry's friend group. The amount of tragedy in the last couple of moons was stunning, and Bitternberry was determined to create some sort of happiness for himself.

So he cornered Larkflower one evening and confessed his feelings for her. He learned that she didn't at all feel the same way. Well, whatever self-esteem he had now was completely flattened, and he became distant, not talking to anyone unless he absolutely had to. He barely even showed any emotion when Shatterbrook was killed by another Clan's patrol heading to the Mooncave that she challenged; there was no point in being attached to anyone anymore.

Marblemoon, however, was absolutely refusing to see him like this. After almost two moons of constantly trying to talk to him, she just basically begged him to spit it all out and go back to trying to live his life. He started halfheartedly talking, which quickly turned into a long-winded rant about how everything was just terrible right now. He was all "Larkflower doesn't love me :((" and Marblemoon just went, "Well, I do," and Bitternberry suddenly realized, "Wait a second. I love you too. Why on earth are we not together yet?" And so they became mates. Which cued more obnoxious looks from Chickenspring. And Hillwatcher. And Larkflower. And even Antspeck. Because they'd known it all along. And everything actually sort of went back to normal. For a long time.

Of course, a long time still isn't forever, and one night, a bad storm struck, causing a huge flood. Everyone was told to climb up to the middle of the cliffs to evacuate, but Antspeck was too scared to climb, especially after what had happened to those apprentices. So she tried to cling to a floating nest, but eventually drowned, much to the absolute horror and trauma of the cats forced to watch her from above.

A few days later, Chickenspring disappeared without a trace.

Bitternberry found, however, that he wasn't alone in his grief. He took comfort in Hillwatcher and Marblemoon, who were always there for him. Even Rainbowbaze managed to muster up some sadness at the loss of her daughters. And he remained friends with Larkflower, who was actually really supportive of his relationship with Marblemoon. Larkflower was the number one MarbleBittern shipper. At least, before she got herself a mate - Meadowstream. Then she was the number one MeadowLark shipper as well.

One morning - and by morning, I mean midnight - Marblemoon barged into Bitternberry's nest and was like 'YO I'M GOING TO HAVE KITS!!'. And that's how Bitternberry found out his mate was pregnant. Neither of them slept for the rest of the night. This very much annoyed literally everyone else who was trying to sleep in the warriors' den.

Shortly afterward, Rainbowblaze retired, leaving the deputy position open. And, surprisingly, the position was given to Bitternberry, who was congratulated by all of his friends and family. It was great.

It was great until the actual birth of his kits, that is. Because Marblemoon died. And so did two of his kits, Beekit and Chirpkit. Bitternberry was absolutely devastated. But he promised to be the best possible father to Cicadakit, his surviving kit, even when she was adopted by Solthistle, another queen. He managed to keep going through the hardship of losing his mate, and actually did okay as the deputy.

Shortly after Cicadapaw became an apprentice, though, a boulder fell from the cliffs and crushed half the elders' den - including Rainbowblaze and Boltshine. That wasn't fun. He didn't like that. But he decided to not completely shut down like he had done in the past, and continued just kind of doing his best at life. And surprisingly, it worked.

Leadership
When the old leader, Wheatstar, lost her last life, Bitternberry was thrown into the position of leader - something he'd never imagined would happen. He received lives from Bogfrost (strength), Zapmask (curiosity), Lemmingpaw (caution), Antspeck (courage), Marblemoon (love), Shatterbrook (kindness), Cocoonpaw (perseverance), Rainbowblaze (mercy), and the Wheatstar (self-respect. Because he needed that.)

So now Bitternstar was leading an entire Clan, with Larkflower as his new deputy. His life sort of calmed down after this; Cicadastorm grew up and he made her his deputy after a bout of greencough claimed the lives of Larkflower, Fulmarcreek and Meadowstream; even Hillwatcher eventually succumbed to a brief but devastating food shortage one leaf-bare. But for the most part, the moons just dragged on. He gave himself Bluebirdpaw as an apprentice.

Except then CoveClan showed up. He's not exactly sure what to do about them; he's sort of just really scared of them and doing his best to ignore them.

Trivia

 * He's terrified of Dapplestar. Like, he will not ever talk to her unless he has to do it to save his life. She really scares him.
 * I (Dragon) spent quite a bit of time on his nine lives and having each cat give him a meaningful one based on their role in his life.
 * He was the first TorrentClan cat created in the roleplay.
 * I originally planned Rainbowblaze to die after he became leader. But then I ran out of cats to give him lives.
 * The boulder that fell on the elders' den was loosened when Lemmingpaw and her siblings knocked out the one right below it. Good job, Lemmingpaw.
 * The first time I read his name, I though it was Bitterstar. I was confused.
 * This man knows all of the hiding spots in the nursery. All of them. He absolutely crushed everyone in hide-and-seek when he was a kit. And if he could still fit in the hiding spots, he still would crush everyone in hide-and-seek. And every time a new litter of kits becomes old enough to play it, he teaches just one of them all of the hiding places. He finds it funny. It's one of the irrationally great joys in his life.

Quotes
He has some. I just can't be bothered to go hunt them down right now. And it's not like they're super meaningful or anything, so...